Courage, Compassion, Empathy, and Connection

Christmas has always been a time for family gatherings for me, and I’m very excited to be spending time connecting with my nearest and dearest this year.

It’s also a time for compassion and, according to Brené Brown, people are programmed to connect with each other because it gives them meaning and purpose. She says, “Courage gives us a voice and compassion gives us an ear. Without both, there is no opportunity for empathy and connection.”  When leaders are compassionate and show they care about the well-being of their employees outside the workplace, it strengthens the emotional bond between leaders and their team and this produces a more stable work environment where people are more likely to thrive.

The thing is, we’re often good at being compassionate and connected when prompted, such as at Christmas time when we are aware of people for whom this period is a struggle, maybe because they have lost family members, or are without a home perhaps, but how about compassion the rest of the year?  How can we be compassionate in the workplace, for example, without getting too involved in the personal lives of every colleague we encounter? We can also reflect here on our Circle of Influence versus our Circle of Concern (as in Stephen Covey).

We cannot influence the goings on in peoples personal lives, but we can somewhat  influence how those issues may impact their professional lives, in the way we deal with their needs in the work place. Creating the workplace environment where individuals feel they could come and speak to their leadership team if they are struggling makes a huge difference, because we, as leaders, can only make adjustments where we know someone has a problem.  This involves establishing and maintaining a culture of psychological safety, where people can be themselves, by being ourselves, which involves being selectively vulnerable. 

Brené talks about boundaries being necessary in this.  “Living a connected life ultimately is about setting boundaries, spending less time and energy hustling and winning over people who don’t matter, and seeing the value of working on cultivating a connection with family and close friends.”, and “Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”

This Christmas, as we connect with those around us, lets think about ways in which we can continue to connect, empathise and be compassionate with those we lead year-round.  How can we bring more of our real self to the workplace to create an environment where people are more likely to thrive? 

Reflections:

• How can we ensure we continue to connect, empathise and be compassionate with those we lead year-round?

• How can we bring more of our real self to the workplace to create an environment where people are more likely to thrive? 

• What can we do to ensure we spend less time and energy hustling and winning over people who don’t matter?

• What do we need to ask for so we can stay out of resentment while supporting others?