Values…

Leaders make many important decisions, all of which have an impact upon those around them.  What we do, and don’t do, say and don’t say, notice and don’t notice, decide and don’t decide says a lot about what is important to us.

In my experience, the ‘not doing’ side isn’t thought about as much as the ‘what I do’ side. Perhaps we reflect more upon what we have done and said rather than on what we’ve not done or said? It can sometimes be more of an afterthought when we realise ‘I should have said or done nothing at that point’.  Our actions clearly and perhaps more obviously have consequences, and so perhaps this is why we don’t always think about our inactions also doing so.  When we think about our actions in a situation I think we tend to worry about ‘what we’ve done’ far more than what we’ve not done, which tends to be more future focused – ‘what have I still not done? I’ve not done this yet..’.

Our inactions signal our values to others.  Not having a difficult conversation with someone about their performance can be frustrating for those around them who see this performance and wish the person was pulling their weight properly to benefit the team.  Often we have simply avoided having the conversation rather than taking a conscious decision not to.  It demotivates and makes others think, ‘well if no-one cares about them not doing things properly, why should I bother?’ and leads to a reduction in the quality of the output and product.  It can cause factions and cliques, and accusations of favouritism or spinelessness. A conscious decision not to act is different.

In workshops, I sometimes use an exercise in pairs, where one person shares a short story about a time they overcame a significant challenge, or achieved something they are proud of.  The listener then reflects back the key values they heard coming through in the story.  They then swap and repeat the process.  This is a great opportunity to listen out for the values that really underpin their motivations, and they probably haven’t heard them reflected back for a long time – if ever.  We tend to only know what our values are when we’ve taken the time to reflect upon them, and sometimes it takes others to see them more clearly than ourselves.

Remembering that our values always show, even when we’re not thinking about them, really helps when we’re making decisions as leaders.  Firstly we need to take the time to be really clear on them, and remind ourselves of them regularly.  Then we can more consciously ensure that we’re following them.  We become more conscious of the decisions we take, and those we decide not to.  When we’ve decided not to do, say, notice or decide something on the basis of our values we can be content.  Knowing what is important to us, we won’t fall into the trap of unconsciously not following what’s right for us.  That way our decisions are our own.

Reflections:

What are the things you avoid doing, saying, noticing, deciding?

Do you reflect more upon what you’ve done and said rather than on what you’ve not done or said?

How does inaction have consequences for you?

What is one thing you could stop/start/continue doing that would help you make more conscious decisions and actions?

Are you clear on your values?

Would you appreciate some time, space and support to work out the values which drive you?