Don’t Borrow Trouble…

Bright Lead will be welcoming ‘guest bloggers’ occasionally over the coming months, interspersed among Nicky’s regular blogs. This week’s ‘Bright Thought’ blog is provided by our first guest, Karen Quinn.

This past week, I have found myself repeating this old saying to my children several times. My mum always said to me, ‘Don’t borrow trouble’, meaning, don’t worry about the future, as it hasn’t happened yet, and may never happen, or don’t worry about things that you have no control over.

The start of a new school year is always a bit stressful for children. They worry about what their new teachers will be like, what the work will be like, what expectations will staff have of them now that they are a year older, and not un-importantly – will their friends still be the same people they were 6 weeks ago?

Well this year we uncharacteristically had to add to this pile of worries, ‘will we get uniform that fits in time’, because it seemed that everywhere had sold out of navy blue straight cut trousers with no reassurance of more stock! All of this, of course is very anxiety* inducing for children and teens, but as someone who is generally very chilled about last minute changes to plans, I whipped out the “Don’t borrow trouble” line, combined with a hug, and some googling, and rest assured, both of the children were indeed ready for the start of term with correctly fitting uniform, the teachers were kind, the friends were the same (if a bit taller, and more tanned), and the work was achievable, because surprise, surprise, the teachers realise that the students have been out of practice for the last 6 weeks, and that they are at the same level they were at the end of last year, not miraculously a year further in their academic abilities!

I stand by this old adage, it has helped me with many events in my life, both big and small, even if it simply reminds me to take a step back, and think for a moment –“realistically, IS there anything I can do in this moment that will contribute a good outcome of this issue that is concerning me?” , Yes? – then go do that thing. No? – then relax, go focus on something else that will either bring joy, or be constructive in a different area. We have to remind ourselves sometimes that our energy is precious, and is it effective and useful to be spending our precious energy on this thing at this moment in time?  

Worry is natural, and understandable, but when it brims over into anxiety or panic, that is when we need to lean on old wisdom, and wonder, is this the best use of my energy right now?

Reflections:

·       What has had you worried lately, and was the eventual outcome as bad as you feared it might be?

·       Do you sometimes find yourself worrying about a thing that is actually completely out of your control?

·       What old nuggets of wisdom do you rely on to remind yourself of how to live well? Another of mine is “everyone is dealing with something, so be kind”.

*Of course, Anxiety as a mental health issue is not going to be helped quite so easily, but common feelings of anxiousness over things can still be very unpleasant, and can often be helped by taking a step back and thinking about how best to focus our energy.