Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence

Never before have Covey’s Circles of Concern and of Influence been so helpful to me in managing my feelings.  My circle of concern is pretty overwhelming currently – and perhaps yours is too?  Thinking about Covey’s ideas and bringing myself back to the concept of ‘what can I actually do right now?’ however small, has really helped, and I hope it might help others too.  With all that is going on in the world, from a global pandemic to the brink of a potential world war, we might be forgiven for spending a lot of time worrying about the impact upon our family, friends, livelihoods and way of living.  I’ve stopped watching the news before going to bed, for example, for that reason! 

I find just knowing that controlling my reactions to a situation will give me more influence over what I’m concerned about supports me when I find myself getting mired in my concerns.  This is also true when I move from pressure to stress.  I find pressure useful for getting things done, but stress for me is when I can’t see a way through all the things I have to do and, as a result, my prioritisation and judgement aren’t as sharp which, over time, can lead to feelings of overwhelm.  Leaders need to manage those feelings to avoid overwhelm and burn-out.

In fact, getting stuck worrying about my concerns, or ruminating on them, is a useful indicator to me that I’m moving towards stress and towards the precipice of tumbling down into being overwhelmed.  Developing the skills to be aware of this happening, and pulling back into ‘what can I actually do right now?’ allows me much greater control over my reaction to events, and subsequently to manage any stress.  To use Victor Frankl’s ideas, trying to increase the gap between the action (stimulus) and our reaction gives us greater control over how we respond.  Leaders need to actively cultivate this practice in these times when swift reactions are also called for.  There is a balance and finding it is key.

What helps you manage your concerns?

How do you increase the gap between your action and reactions in daily life?

What one small thing might you do to remain within your circle of influence/control more often with a particular concern you have?