Tackling Challenging Conversations with Successful Communication…
I was so excited to see a family of dolphins feeding together around the Roker lighthouse at the mouth of the River Wear last week! We were in Sunderland as I had delivered a workshop for a green energy company as an Emergenetics Associate, and I felt privileged to see such a wonderful sight by chance while the sun was setting as we walked along the pier and beach before our evening meal.
Communication between dolphins is known to be extensive and complex. Using a series of whistles, dolphins hunt together to find food. Pods of dolphins coordinate their movements to herd prey, and then take turns swimming into the middle of the assembled fish to eat. And that was what we saw happening at the end of the pier as they circled round and round.
Communication is key. Developing psychological safety for teams to trust that what they say will be understood with positive intent is fundamental to high-performing teams and underpins successful leadership. ‘Fear of Conflict’ is, for very good reason, the second most important Dysfunction of a Team after the ‘Absence of Trust’ according to Patrick Lencioni. It is impossible to have constructive unfiltered debate without that trust and understanding, and without those challenging conversations, and being prepared for well intentioned ‘conflict’, teams will fail to achieve their goals as they unhelpfully tiptoe around each other or hold post-meeting post-mortems in corridors, rather than saying what they think in the room. Much is about ‘developing greater comfort with the discomfort’ these conversations bring.
On 11th October 2023, I’ll be running an online workshop for the Girls’ Schools Association (GSA) entitled ‘Tackling Challenging Conversations’. To book follow this link HERE and anyone can book, you don’t need to be part of the GSA.
This comes at a great time of year, when many in schools and businesses across the country have started new roles or joined new teams after the summer break. Having been part of a newly formed team for about 3 or 4 weeks, getting to know the individuals a little better over that time and tentatively building trust, the honeymoon period starts to wear off… We realise we need to speak up, perhaps we knew it was part of the role anyway, and we worry… Will the impact of our communication land how we intend it to? Or will there be a clanging intent-impact gap? How will they react? And how will I be viewed as a result?
Getting to know the team and how they prefer to think and behave is crucial, which is why I love delivering the Emergenetics ‘Meeting of the Minds’ workshop, as I did in Sunderland last week. Emergenetics helps us understand how we, and our colleagues, prefer to behave and think, and serves to reduce the intent-impact gaps that arise without working together to develop that understanding.
There is a lot else we can do to prepare ourselves for challenging conversations, whether that is with colleagues or other stakeholders, which is why I also enjoy delivering this well-received workshop for the GSA. Courage based upon trust is essential for successful unfiltered debate and challenging conversations. And that brings us back full circle to those dolphins I saw successfully communicating together and working as a team with a clear goal in mind… what a beautiful sight and what a privilege to see.
Reflections:
What do you need to do to build your confidence in challenging conversations?
How do you consider and evaluate the impact your communications have on others?
How comfortable are you with the discomfort of ‘constructive conflict and unfiltered debate’?
To what extent do your team operate like dolphins?
Do book in to the online workshop, alternatively contact me to discuss what Bright Lead can do for you.